How does Jack's relationship with his parents change over the course of the novel? What larger ideas is the author getting at about growing up as it connects to the relationship between children and their parents?
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I think that the relationship with his parents has changed a lot. I think that after Jacks father left Jacks parents were split up and him and his parents didn't have the best relationship. I think that his relationship changed because at the beginning of the book the things going on made it hard for Jack and his parents to really communicate and have a real connection. I think that the author brought p this aspect of maturity and family change because it really makes you question ones life and their aspects on life.I think that the idea of the author was to make people want to think about the story line a little bit more than they would usually think about it that way. I think that the whole point of this book is to make people think beyond their imagination and their thoughts
In the beginning of the book Jack's parents were together. Nothing bad seemed to be happening, they seemed to be happy family. Then one day Jack's father left. He didn't know why, he just left. Then when Jack was 14 he was finally told why his father left. That his father was gay. Almost everyday Jack's father would come and stand in their front yard and Jack's mother would yell at him every single time. However at that time Jack didn't know what was going on.
When Jack found out his father was gay he didn't want any thing to do with him. He didn't want him to be his father. He hated what he was. His mother was very sensitive about this subject. When Jack was using Ann as a girlfriend his mother was saying it's not right to be used. "Believe me I know!" that is what she said then she ran to her room. Later in the book Jack's mother tried to make Jack hang out with his dad. However Jack's mom still didn't like the fact about her husband.
When Jack had broken his ankle Jack's parents had tried to take care of Jack. Both parents were trying to take control. Were trying to help Jack. To give ideas on what they could do. They both cared about Jack and both wanted to help.
Jack came back from his trip when Mrs. Burka had gotten hit by Mr. Burka. Jack and his mother and father were in the Burka's kitchen. Jack thought to himself that it looked like them as a family before his dad left. When Jack's dad was leaving the Burka's he and his wife hugged. He said let's talk, she said soon. It seemed like they really wanted something to work now. Both Jack's parents said (or implied) that they still loved one another. However they couldn't tell eachother that because it would get everyone confused.
Then, finally, at Jack's party it seemed like his parents were friends. Jack's dad complimented the house and the food and his mom was able to make conversation. They had grown closer ovre the years almost the same way JAck has grown up. When you grow up you become more mature and when you become more mature you are able to understand things more and more.Jack and his parents grew up together with the same issues everyone was facing. They made it and the had accepted everyone for who they were.
Jack struggles with the idea of independence with his parents. Although he does want to seem more grown up, and he dreams of being free to do what he wants, he also seems to depend on his parents quite a lot. His father, to him, is the hero in many instances in the novel. Paul goes to jack when he breaks his leg, and he takes him to buy pizza when the Burka-incident occurs. Even though Jack's mother seems to be rough, she has been a person who takes care of him through hard moments, such as his parents divorce. By the end of the book, Jack realizes that he needs to find the balance between his parents saving the day, and him being his own hero.
AM Holmes seems to portray relationships between parents and kids as one that is all about balance: Jack does not nessecarily know when he needs his parents, or when he wants to be independent. His frustration with with adults tends to be connected to growing up, and how he can feel that he is also an adult. The meaning of growing up tends to shift in the novel multiple times: at some moments, Jack feels that he needs to be independent from his parents to grow up, but in other instances, he feels that to be completely grown up, he has to have a better relationship with his father, or understand his mother. Ultimately, growing up is seen as the ability to make choices: Jacks relationships with his parents is not the steadiest, but he does realize that he can "drive the car" and take control. He has the choice to make the relationship good.
over the course of the book Jack has grown up. not just with himself but also his parents. the way i see the book Jack was a child and he could not handle big issues. he went out of control when his dad told him on the boat that he was gay. toward the end of the book Jack learned how to control his issues. Jacks parents have also grown up in the book as well because at the beginning they could not stand each other. Jacks father was not even allowed inside Jacks house because his mother hated him so much. we understand that her heart was broken but she had to realize what her actions were doing to Jack. Jack felt the need to protect her and be mean and hate his father as well. it was not only because he disliked his father for leaving him but because he felt his mother had no protection and in a way was vulnerable. Jacks father is now not only allowed in the house but his parents are nice to each other. another thing is that you can see how at the beginning of the book Jacks parents only communicate with each other when it is an emergency and when Jack or a friend in need needed them. for example at Jacks basketball game Jacks parents were not sitting together but when jack hurt his foot they both rushed to see if he was ok. Another example is when Mrs Burka ( Jacks family friend) got badly beat up by her husband both of Jacks parents took care of her and her sons. Jack seems to be the bond between his two parents, he is the thing that keeps them together. towards the end of the book Jacks mom learned to accept Jacks dad and become nicer to him. she even invited him and his boyfriend over for Jacks birthday dinner. Jacks mom wanted to impress Jacks dad and show that things are running smoothly so she ran all over the house cleaning and cooking all day. a lot of times growing up as a teen you do not feel as close to your parents as you have previously. you do not share everything little thing going on in your life. it was the other way around with Jack and his parents. at the beginning of the book Jack seems happy with his life and worry free. then we find out that Jack has gay father and that turns everything around. Jack discovering that he has a gay father stirs up all kind of anger and confusion and emotion that he keeps all bottled up but we know he wanted someone to tell.towards the end of the book Jack realizes that he has only seen part of his dad. the gay side. Jack hasn't seen the basketball side or the gardening side.Jack has only paid attention to the cons in his mind and not the pros. at the end of the book when Jack is playing basketball with his father it seems that he is letting everything out. when he talks about how his shirt was all sweaty i think that symbolized all of his emotions that becomes trapped inside of him. when he lays down next to his father that symbolizes that he is airing out and letting everything out even though he is not verbally talking to his father. Jack has a connection with his father that is very special.
Jacks relationship with his parents is a big change in the book. In the beggining of the book Jack had a good relationship with his parents, in the middle of the novel his parents didn't understand him at all, in the end of the book Jack has a pretty good but weird relationship with his parents.
The author is trying to show that parents don't understand kids. She talks about how when your a teenager your parents still think of you as a kid, which teensgers don't necessarily like it. The parents might aks if your ok when you get a little scratch playing basketball. She is trying to show that recovering from a mistake of parenting is hard
Jack's Relationship with his parents in the beginning of the book when Jack's father still lived in his house was very normal and happy. The family would do normal family things like argue sometimes, go to the movies together, and go out to restaurants together.
They would do all of this normal family stuff until Jack's father moved out of the house. when Jack's father moved out of the house Jack's mother became furious at Jack's father and Jack's relationship with his father resulted from his mother's feeling of what Jack's father did. Jack was not able to make much communication with his father but that did not comprise the reason Jack was angry at his father. Jack was angry at his father because his father was like superman to Jack and if superman died people would be very upset. Jack was also upset because Jack's father left without even telling Jack what the heck was going on.
Jack was very upset with his parents when his father left with no explanation, but he wasn't as upset as when his father told him that he was gay. Jack had wondered ever since his father had left why he left, but when Jack's father said that he was gay, Jack's opinion of his father changed and he hated his father for a long time. While Jack was hating his father for what he had been told, he wasn't angry at his mother, as a matter of fact,he had pity on his mother. Jack had pity on his mother because he thought that it was unfair of his father to have Jack's mother have Jack come out of her and then leave her to raise him, and now Jack's father is leaving Jack's mother with a depressed kid.
In the end of the novel, Jack's mother and father start being nice to each other, which influences Jack to have a good relationship with both of them.
Through out the book, Jack has become closer to his father. After he told Jack he was gay, Jack's love for his father has grew so much. He has tried to avoid his father but his mom keeps convincing him to be with his father even though paul left them. I think that his relationship with his mom has grown a lot as well.
In the novel Jack, Jack has a mom, who is straight, and a dad, who is gay. When Jack finds out that his dad is gay, he hates him, and completely abandons him. As the book goes on, he is less and less reluctant to spend time with his dad, though his dad is usually the one who invites Jack to hang out with him. Before the scene in the book where Max's father hits his mother, Jack thinks that his dad is weird. When he goes to his dads house, he gets mad at him, and hopes that his dad will turn out to not be gay. After Max's father hits his mother, Jack becomes much closer to his dad, in fact he even plays basketball with him. I think that this is because Jack thought that his family was ab-normal. He would always look to the Max's family, the Burkas, and wish he was part of their family, because he thought their family was normal. Whenever he is worried about not having a family, he looks at the Burka's and feels a little better. When Mr.Burka hits Mrs.Burka, Jack feels like he has just lost all faith that a family can be perfect. He has to rely on his dad, and once he sees that no family is perfect, he feels better about his dad. Stef
When Jack's relationship with his parents is first introduced, it's easy to see that Jack has an easy relationship with his mom, and a special connection with his dad. When Jack's father tells him he's gay, Jack's special interpretation of his soon subsides, and he then begins to dislike his father for "betraying" him. Following Michael's entrance into their family, he seems to miss his father, and decides that he would rather have his gay father living with him instead of Michael, since he doesn't really belong in their family. Towards the end of the book, when Michael comes home, Jack says back to him, "No, Michael, you're not home, you're just an aura, an aura with a key." When I read this, it made me think that Jack didn't "see him" as someone living in his life. In the middle, Jack begins to grow his relationship again with his dad again, such as calling him when he needs to be picked up from Max's house. He also spends a little more time with his dad, despite having to face him with half-negative feelings. He feels bad about treating his father the way he did before, but can't admit that. Towards the end, he doesn't completely like Michael, but he begins to see a new light in his father, and begins to accept his father's sexuality and realizes that that is not what his father is all about and to stop picking on him about his sexuality and know that his father still loves him. Jack then has the same relationship with his father than he did in the beginning of the book, creating a happy ending for them and the reader.
A.M. Homes is explaining relationships in the novel as a roller coaster, with ups and downs, twists and turns, sometimes stays neutral, but no matter what, everyone has their own experience. Some people are okay with their parent's ways, while some will dislike it. The relationship between a child and a parent can varies for each person. With growing up, there are so many possibilities that could happen in it. Jack's special relationship with his parents, mainly his father, is one with many twists and turns, and Jack had his own experience, which is described in Jack.
In the beginning of the book, Jack couldn't really trust any of his parents because they held a secret from him for a long time and didn't think that he could trust them anymore. Now that he has gotten older, he has learned to understand that when you get older, you get into harder situations but you have to get through them. Jack had difficulty connecting with his mom because she was always out on a dates and sort of neglected him. When Jack's dad told Jack that he was gay, he didn't want anything to do with his dad because he didn't really understand what gay meant. Jack thought it meant something bad. Also, both the mom and dad are putting in an effort to try to be friends instead of ignoring each other. The author is showing how children and their parents are always going through tough times but there is a way to deal with them. Having your parents split up is a difficult situation to deal with and in the book 'Jack,' it shows how a kid could deal with it. It also shows how sometimes Jack feels like he needs his parents and sometimes he doesn't. But at the end of the day, he realizes that he can't always be independent. Every child thinks that they could be independent. - Brianna <3
In the beginning of the book Jack was really close with his parents. But when his father left him and his mother, Jack had a different point of view on him than before. Jack always looked up to his dad as a role model, but when his dad left he did not really want to spend time with him. later on when jack finds out his dad is gay he is sickened by the thought of his dad being gay, and just wants to to get away from his father. Jack starts to connect more and more with his mother over the course of the book because she is his next role model. I think that the author is trying to show that no matter what happens, your parents are always there for you, and will always love you. You can talk to your parents about anything because they have been a kid and know what it is like. Isaiah
In the very beginning of the book, Jack describes himself as being very close with his parents. After the divorce he became disconnected with both his parents because they all seemed to be trying to figure out what happened to their family. When his dad comes out to him, he goes from ignoring his dad to hating him for being gay. He wants nothing to do with his dad, or any other gay people. By the end of the book though, Jack reached out to his dad and saw him as person for the first time since he came out. He really saw past his hatred and was able to really remember that no matter what, he still loved his dad. In the end Jack is close with both his parents and feels satisfied with his life. Jack’s changing situation with his parents is similar to the stages kids through with their parents as they grow up. When you are very young, you are dependent on your parents to do almost everything and be like super heroes. When you are around ten or eleven, you want to be independent and do most things for yourself. When you are a young teenager, all you want is to have your own life and solve your own problems. When you are an older teenager though, you are able to see your parents as equals and not as people always telling you what to do. Jack goes through all this with his parents and by the end sees them as human beings, not super heroes. This is just one of many themes in the book centered around growing up, although I feel this is one of the more prominent.
Paul leaves Jack and his mother and then later Jack finds out that he is gay. It took Jack a while to deicide whether or not it mattered to him or not. Jack lives in a very homophobic community so jack does not like having a gay father. Jack’s parents are divorced and he does not want to see his father. When Jack was little Paul used to check everything to make sure Jack was safe. Now Jack is sixteen and his father does it. Partly it might be because he does not want jack to grow up. On Jack’s sixteenth birthday his father said, “You’re growing up,” as he walked out of the house. Jack goes on a trip with his best friend Max Burka and his family. Mrs. Burka gets beaten by her husband. When they come back early both of Jack’s parents are there. When they leave Paul says to Jack’s mom let’s talk and she says soon then they hug. Jack could not remember the last time his parents were in the same house. I think basketball symbolizes the bond between Paul and Jack. It is something they could do together and they both know how to play. I think that it is also a sport that runs in the family because jack’s mother plays to. After jack’s father left his mom practiced her basketball so that she could play with Jack just Paul did.
I think that at first…Jack just thought of his mother as his mother, and his dad as his dad. He never really noticed their character, their personalities or the relationship between them both. However, when we get closer to the middle of the book Jack’s father tells him he is gay. This is a real game changer for Jack. He doesn’t really know how he sees his parents anymore. It’s really hard for him to think of Paul being anything ells other then gay. That’s really all he is at this point in the story. As for his mother, he can’t really think of anything ells to label her other than the victim in this situation. Here, she is given the opportunity to make things better for Jack. To prove to him that she can take care of him and make sure he can have as normal a life as possible. She does not do this. Instead, she starts bringing men home, becomes a workaholic and is paying even less attention to Jack. As his mother, Jack relies on her to help him through his life even though he doesn’t admit this. She really is letting him down and showing him that he is really going to have to deal with this on his own. Towards the end of the story…we see Jack’s relationship with both parents become much better. He starts to pay more attention to their character and what kinds of people they are. He does no longer label them by taking one glance, but he starts to look at the whole picture and in doing this, helps Jack become an even better person. Understanding his parents has helped him understand himself.
I think that the author is trying to show that your parents are allot like you, and if you understand them, you understand yourself allot better. I also think that your parents are the ones that are supposed to support you and help you through your problems. Jack never really had this kind of relationship, but relied more on his friends for advice. As a madder of fact he didn’t even have the great friends! In the end, Jack had no choice but to learn more about himself. His friends weren’t going to do it, and his parents weren’t going to do it for him. Jack has realized that being independent is okay and that he is really allot smarter then he thought.
In the beginning of Jack, we are exposed to a family crisis, which involves the separation of a family. Confusion sweeps over Jack, since he once remembered that both of his parents got along very well. He is stuck in the middle of argument. Jack and his parents at this time got a long pretty well, even though the whole family was going through a lot.
One day, Jack's father tells him that he is gay, which was one of the reasons why there was so much tention between the family. During this time period, the majority of society struggled with homophobia, and greatly detests those who were considered "unique" in terms of sexuality. When a child is growing up, homophobia comes into the picture, creating a demeaning atmosphere at school because of the radical changes that kids were going through.
Jack's relationship with his father deteriorates dramatically. He wants nothing to do with his father. He is embarassed by the idea that he too, might get bullied in school because of his father being open about his sexuality. Jack basically isolates his father from his life.
During growing up, towards the end of the process, you start to understand the major differences in society. One being sexuality. Jack starts to understand his father, and starts to feel that he is just an ordinary man, just like the father he recently cared for deeply previously.
In the beginning of the book Jack has a very complicated relationship with his parents. At first they get divorced and Jack is upset that his parents can't be a "normal" happy family. Later in the book when Paul tells Jack that he is Homosexual, Jack's relationship with his dad gets rough, because Jack is not capable of accepting his dad's sexual orientation. And Jack's relationship with his mom becomes distant, because Jack keeps to himself and will not communicate with his mom. Towards the middle of the book Jacks relationship between his parents becomes more accepting on Jacks part. Jack realizes that his family is a complicated family, but Jack has a family with people who love him. At the end of the book Jack realizes that there is no such thing as a "normal/perfect" family, and this strengthens his relationship with his parents. In all I think that the author of states the fact that the relationship between children and parents is not a "bed of roses". But at the same time family is something that should not be taken for granted. I think the author also states that each family is unique and different in their own special way so there is no such thing as a "normal" family. And that was a mistake that Jack made, comparing other families to his, Jack didn't realize that he had a loving family right in front of him.
I think that the relationship between Jack and his parents has changed a lot through the course of the book. At first it seems as if Jack hates his life the way it is with his parents divorced, and finding out that his father is gay had made it even worse for him. Jack had put up with the whole struggle with having divorced parents, but still sort of kept his cool, and dealt with it any possible way that he could. But when his dad had came out to him, Jack had lost it and his guard had come tumbling down. I think that he felt like enough was enough. After a while of awkwardness in his family, things had settled when he got more comfortable with the fact that his father was gay. Jack could still recognize that awkwardness in his family, but it wasn't as bad as before. When Jack's leg had gotten hurt in the basket ball game, the the tension was so high that Jack had stayed with the pain for a longer amount of time just so that the awkwardness would leave. Jack had then become more okay with the idea of having a gay father, even with the fact that he was harassed at school. In the end, Jack is settled with his new families and doesn't expect life to be perfect.
I agree with Sophie when she had said that the author is trying to tell the readers that your parents are a lot like yourself, and if you don't only see the bad in them you won't have to be afraid of growing up like they had. The author is also trying to say that the relationship between the parents and their child (or children) could be very strong if they both understood each other fully, and understood each person's perspective on life. At first Jack doesn't understand this, but as we got deeper into the book, Jack had understood more about his relationship with his family and with life. Jack had understood how to get through the hard times in life without giving up, and having his family together really helped him understand.
Over the course of the book, Jack’s relationship with his parents changes significantly. His parents have a very complicated relationship with each other and their issues affect Jack as their child. As Jack matures, he grows into a greater understanding of his parents and his life. In the beginning of the book (when we see the flashbacks), Jack is at peace with both his parents and he is growing up in a happy home. His relationship with is parents is a loving one, he idolizes his father, thinking of him as a “superman” and is taken good care of by his mother. However, as his happy family starts to deteriorate, he sinks deeper into confusion. Why is his father leaving? Why is his mother so unhappy? And slowly, Jacks mother starts becoming his real guardian. She picks up basketball; she tries to spend quality time with him. But after a while, even she draws away, as she goes on dates and starts leaving Jack money for McDonalds rather than eating with him. Also, his father tries desperately to hang out with Jack, finally convincing Jack’s mother to allow Jack to have dinner with him once a week. Jack finds these evening uncomfortable, despite his father’s attempts. When Jack learns of his father’s sexuality he is beyond furious. His father has not been a “superman” in his life for a while and this seems to be the snapping point. Jack’s take on his father shifts importantly, he is so angry. His love for his father, though never truly abandoned, has been buried beneath a heap of hate, fear and homophobia. Jack is scared of his father and doesn’t see him for a long time. As Jack starts to accept his father more, he enters a time of realization. In the scene where he plays basketball with his dad, he has an epiphany. He sees his father as a person for the first time, and his father’s sexuality doesn’t matter so more. After Mrs. Burka is beaten, Jack’s parents come to an understanding with each other. They still have feelings for each other and Jack realizes he loves both his parents equally, in spite of their divorce. His relationship with his parent’s represents maturity, as we see Jack grow into a young man, we see his understanding and love for his parents deepen. They are distant in some ways and close in others, but they are, most importantly, a family.
At the beginning of the book, Jack explained how with his dad gone from his household, it was like his super hero being missing and that his mom tried to fill the dad position. He thought his family was screwed up and only wished for a better one and a normal life. Normal being a family that stays together through anything-- a family much like what the Burkas seemed to be. His relationship with his dad at the beginning was distant and akward and his relationship with his mom was trying hard to be better, but not really getting better. After his dad told Jack he is gay, Jacks anger towards his dad gets rid of all akwardness. Through Jacks anger, Jacks mom sees how silly she has been about Jacks dad and try's to push Jack to spend more time with his dad. After finding out that the Burkas "perfect family" was not so perfect after all, he realized that though his family may not be perfect, both his parents and other people in his life loved him. After being antagonized at school for having a gay dad, Jack gets defensive and starts to understand his dad more. With their strong connection in basketball you see how Jack never never stoped loving his dad, he was just shocked that his dad was gay. What I think A. M. Homes is trying to say, is that all teens are going to seperate a little bit from their parents- especaily if you parent is gay or lesbian and you lived in a time period like jack does- but nobody stops loving each other. In the end you see how alike you really are to your parents.
Jack seems to have a different relationship with his parents at every stage in the book. In the beginning he loves his dad and feels as if he is not as close to his mom. After his father comes out the roles are switched and he's leaning on his mom for an explanation and trying to get as far away as possible from his dad. Jack slowly gets closer and closer to his dad in the middle of the book. WHen Jack returns from the farm. He is in shock, and begins to realize how lucky he is to have two loving parents. Finally at the end of the book he seems to come to the conclusion that he has great parents and is thankful for his family but he is independent. I think the message of the book in terms of child and parent relationships is that as children grow up they will come to love and accept their family but also realize that their family does not define them.
I think that Jack's relations with his parents changed over the course of the book. Jack's mother is a person who he found was there for him. However, his father always appeared, whether by coincidence or luck, at the most opportune moment. The change of relations really is emphasized with Jack and his father rather than his mother. He felt disgust for his father when they talked on Lake Watchmayoyo. This is a complete turnaround towards the end of the book when he buys the turquoise for his father. Although he did not give it to him, the thought counts. Jack and his father's relationship can be described as the Kool-Aid stain Jack's mother cleaned up. The Kool-Aid stain would never clear up no matter what the mother tried until she fought it head on.
Jack and his father tried to make up. The situations were just to awkward to make up. Eventually, they took a turn and signs of their friendship was returning. The night when they arrived from the Farm at the Burkas house, Jack made up with his father when going to the pizza store. That is the relations with his father --------------------------------- His mother is different. She has always been the type who does not usually do things that require excessive energy. Such as making pancakes or cleaning stains. Jack and his mother are two similar people. They both were affected when the father left. They both were affected when they learned of the father's homosexuality. I feel that the mother and Jack really relate and that creates the basis for their good friendship. ---------------------------------- The concept of growing up is portrayed mainly with Jack, however, Max and Sammy can arguably be symbols of growing up.
1) Sammy symbolizes the innocent childhood. Sammy relates with the parents who keep him safe and he symbolizes gilded happiness. Why? The parents are probably keeping him out of the loop, with him oblivious, and keeping him safe while happy. The parents may or may not be happy. Gilded happiness is between Mrs. Burkas and Sammy because she obviously was not enjoying Mr. Burkas. This is one connection.
2) Max symbolizes a truce. Max's truce is explained like this: It is a deal of limiting independence while putting up with parents. An example would be his truce between Mr. Burkas and himself. This incites a ground everyone is irritated by but can put up with it.
3) Jack. Jack can symbolize many things. The biggest symbol, in my opinion, is that Jack is the want for freedom, while confused. 16 years old is a great time. You can drive, you can go places you haven't before and you want freedom. Jack is confused about everyone, however. This is something that can really be applicable to only Jack in the form it is in. The reason: Jack is exaggerating everything about his problems. The symbol here is that Jack symbolizes maturation. Their comes a point where the child finally treats the parents as equals. The only difference is the parents aren't ready to let go.
Jack view his parents and there roles in a different way in each part of the book. Jack relationship and view of his parents fluctuates quite a bit. When Jack was young, he thought his dad was a super hero and could always save the world. When Jacks dad leaves, he loses some of the idolization he has for his father. He becomes distant from his father and blames his father more, and he becomes close with his mom. When his father came out to him, jack lost all his feelings of idolization towards his father and he becomes very angry. Towards the middle of the book, he starts want freedom from his parents and wants to be independent from his parents. After Jack comes back from the farm, he realizes that he is lucky to have his family and although his family might be a bit out of the ordinary, they love him and are able to get along and take care of him. In the book the message about family is that no matter what you will always be loved and children will grow up but they will never totally leave you.
Jacks relationship with his parents goes through a distinct change throughout the book. At the beginning of the book, Jack has this kind of child-like relationship with his parents. The classic sad kid whose parents are divorced. Not that bad but not fantastic either. He loved his father so much and constantly tried to get him to come back, but Paul refused. Then one day, Paul took jack on a boat ride where he announced he was gay and that's when the tables turned. Jack's father called and called, but Jack never answered, he didn't want anything to do with his father. Jack felt betrayed and disgusted all at once and it was a hard time for him and his father. Jack's mother seemed to be less opinionated (although if she ha to pick a side it would definitely be Jack's.) About midway through the book Jack started to forgive his father without wanting to admit it to himself. He picked u the phone when Paul called, he agreed to hang out, he even met his boyfriend Bob. There was still apart of him where he didn't want to forgive his father. He thought maybe if he didn't accept this new Paul, it wouldn't be real, it would go away. Throughout this process I felt that Jack and his mother were growing apart bit by bit. They no longer had this mutual dislike for Paul, and she had become self obsessed lately. By the end of the book, Jack and his father had become perfect friends again. They played basketball, did everything they used to,but there is still a slight awkwardness always hanging in the air between them. no matter the situation something is always a little bit off. This is where the idea of growing up really appeared to me. growing up is a difficult process for every teen, especially under the circumstances that Jack is under. At first you want your family to perfect, parents together and they get along. Some people may have that, but as Jack said "The American Family had reached it's peak, and now its going downhill." The divorce rate has gone up in the past 30 years, and the rate of children born has gone down. The average family has about 2 kids these days, compared to before where 5-7 was most common. The second stage of Jacks growing up is when he realizes this. He see's that the Perfect Family Idea doesn't exist anymore. He begins irritable with his parents as every teenager does at one point. He hates his father, he hates his mother for hating his father, and he hates everyone for not being in his situation. The final stage is where he matures. He understands his father and accepts him. He appreciates his family more. As a teenager turns into an adult they really start to appreciate their parents again. Whether it is because they see their parents getting older and want to be there, or angry hormones start to wear off, it happens.
Over the course of "Jack" his relationships with his parents change a lot. As he grows up in this book, he has to deal with many adult situations. Through all of it, Jack's relationship with his dad goes through goods and bads. After his dad tells him that he is gay, Jack doesn't understand it and locks his dad out for a while. As a result by the end though, it seems to have made their relationship stronger. Since Jack finally could see his dad for his true self and accepted bob more, they were able to bond at a new length. But through all of those relationship problems adding onto the other drama that had occurred, Jack and his mom had become more distant by the end of the book. Through everything, Jacks love was needed by a lot more people. Maggie, Mrs. Burka, Bob, Max, and especially his dad since they were re-building a big father and son bond. There seemed to not have been as much left for his mom.
I think that overall, growing up in "Jack" and in general means that as you get older, you're going to have to go through harder and more serious situations. Through it all there is not going to be as much time for parents. As the child becomes more open to the larger world, the parents won't seem like a huge beacon of light as they used to. Jack used to depend more on his mom because she was always there. As he became more independent by driving and having a girlfriend, he started to notice that he was doing fine without her there as much.
The most significant change in Jack’s relationship with his parents is that Jack no longer upholds the notion that his parents are absolute paradigms. Jack now realizes that while his parents are flawed they truly care about him. Because Jack understands this concept of imperfection coexisting with human nature Jack is finally able to overcome any lingering homophobic sentiment he retains inside of himself and empathizes with his father. Throughout the book Jack yearns for the simplicity of his childhood. This is because he believes that the course of his life was normal up to the point when Jack’s father reveals to Jack that he is a homosexual, after which Jack’s life becomes filled with uncertainty and stress. Jack then makes the mistake to directly associate his father’s confession as the cause of his troubles and shuns him for willingly inducing the turmoil he is enveloped by. However, now that Jack has gained new perspicacity, he realizes that the separation of his familial sphere was inevitable. Also, even though Jack’s father has moved away, he still is the same person and he regrets having to put Jack in such an awkward position at such a young age. Since Jack has reconciled this internal struggle to understand why his father left him, he leads a much more tranquil life and no longer feels ashamed that his father is gay.
The issue of the relationship of Jack to his parents is at the center of what the novel is about. At the beginning of the book, Jack and his parents are just like any other typical family. But we are given indications that not all is well. The relationship between Jack’s parents was in trouble. We got a sense that Jack’s vision of his father is that of an ideal. He saw him as a perfect role-model, but in reality, he is remote. Then Jack learns that his father is gay. Jack is a teenager, and his reaction to this fact is a typical one. He expects that his whole world will fall to pieces. But the whole story line of this book is about how this is not true. I agree with Louisa that his relationship is changing throughout the book. He had an average family to start with. When he finds out that his father is gay, much agony is initiated. Eventually, this fact gradually becomes meaningless after experience with society, the reaction of society, and seeing what other families are like. He thinks that he is the only one in the world with a turbulent family in the beginning, but eventually, after seeing his father’s love withstand other love that he sees such as the case with Maggie’s father, and when he goes to the farm and sees Mr. and Mrs. Burka’s relationship. He realizes that he has a family just like any other if not better, even considering the fact that his father is gay. In the end Jack learns that his family is always there to support him and that he has himself and his own experience to keep with him.
As Jack is living with his mother and father while he is younger, he is less independent and relies on them more. Age is a big factor in how the relationship between Jack and his parents change. As it usually happens this way, as one gets older they feel the need to be independent and don't depend on their parents as much as they would as a small child. Jack starts out feeling this way but then towards the end realizes that he can be independent while still close with his parents.
Another idea that this connects to is forgiveness and maturity. As Jack gets older, he becomes more mature and self sustainable in some ways, yet the level of maturity he has reached, does not completely show until he has accepted who is father really is. To be a sophisticated person, you don't only need to physically grow up, but mentally grow up also. I feel that Jack is full grown when he is willing to accept who is father is and when he realizes that independence is not about isolating yourself, but being independent in the choices you make- whether they regard when he needs his parents and when he is able to be on his own.
Jack needs his parents often in the story whether it is for emotional help like getting through the divorce, or physical help like walking Jack when he broke or sprained his ankle. At the end, he realizes that it is not a bad thing to count on people at times, but it also isn't bad to be alone.
Throughout the book, Jack's relationship with his parents improves. In the begining of the novel, Jack and his parents seem to be fine and happy. After Paul comes out, it causes tension throughout the family. Jack's relationship with his mom and dad worsens. Jackis always mad and agrressive and it is hard to interactwith someone who is always angry. Towards the end of the book Jack realizes that he still loves his dad and that he can trust and rely on him. After Jack gets to a good place with his parents, he drifts away from them. He is always thinking about his existence and odd things like that. He becomes his own best friend,his own parent, his own child. He drifts away almost unconsiously. He doesn't mean to leave his parents or his friends on purpose, but he just becomes so curious about everything and keeps to himself.
I think a recurruring theme in the book is that adults/parents can make mistakes just lie children. Or that adults are not perfect. Mr. Burka puched his wife. When you are a child you learn that hitting is wrong. Paul leaving wasn't really a mistake, but it caused a lot of turbulence. If he could have read the future a few years back, he wouldn't have gotten involved with Jack's mom or Jack, but he is not perfect or a psychic. Things happen that adults cannot control because adultsare human.
In the beginning of the novel after Jack’s parents had a divorce Jack felt that his parents were strangers in many senses. He begins to notice that the day his father left. “They stood there, staring at each other, swelling up the whole room. I remember the sudden strange sensation that these were not my parents, these were not the same people I’d known last week.” (Pg 8) After his father left, Jack felt like his mother replace his father. She started to play basketball as well as participating in other “fatherly” activities including getting a job. His father to Jack he is gay one day, the reason for the divorce. Jack has to rediscover his parents and find his place in each of their new lives. When Jack’s father told him he is gay, at first Jack found this gross and upsetting. One of the reasons that this was upsetting to Jack was that he believes he is a product of a lie. Jack felt that the only reason his birth occurred was because his father wanted to hide his identity. Jack discovered however, that his father still loved him and his mom. In the book Jack had to rediscover his parents and accept them for how there lives have changed. In a short amount of time Jack has to undergo many changes. As well as the information that his father is gay he also finds out on a trip with his best friend Max that Max’s father His wife. This upsets Jack because the Burkas have always seemed like the perfect family to him. Whenever Jack is lonely and resentful of his family, he belongs to he goes to the Burkas for dinner. The Burkas allow Jack to feel “normal.” This image though is shattered when he finds out that Mr. Burka beats Mrs. Burka. Jack is even more upset when he finds out that they are getting a divorce just like his parents. This event however changed Jack’s view of his father. Jack’s father left because he was unhappy. He wasn’t being himself. Jack sees why his father was responsible to leave; he didn’t want to beat Jack’s mother like Mr. Burka did to Mrs. Burka. Near the end of the book the past events flash before Jack’s eyes. The Burka’s, (besides Mr. Burka) Maggie Jack’s girl friend, his father, his father’s lover, his mom and his mom’s boyfriend Michael celebrate Jack’s birthday. When all of these people meet, it’s as if all the events are coming together showing Jack how much he and his life have changed. Dinner times which is the last meal of the day is confirming that everything is returning back to peace. Yet Jack wonders at the end of the book, will his life be like theirs? A.M. Homes is trying to show how children struggle to avoid the trodden path of their families. In the end Jack fears his life might be like the people who sit at the dinner table before him at his party. Then he realizes that it’s just him; Jack in the basketball court, playing against himself. He builds the obstacles he needs to get over. He learns that as long as he doesn’t build those obstacles and he is honest with himself he can do anything.
I agree with Kira, Jack struggles very much with the idea of independence from his parents. In the beginning of the book, Jack's closeness with his father was frequently referenced. He mentally noted details about his father and how he had changed and portrayed his mother negatively. He mused upon the events of his parents break-up and his cluelessness. Soon his father becomes the bad guy, after admitting to Jack he's gay, and Jack relies on his mother and Micheal for support. His mother is aware of his feelings and knows what he's going through, so they share their pain. It fluctuates from there until mid-book, I think after the basketball game where everyone gathered around Jack. Where Jack realizes he is very much cared about, though he is distraught by it. Then the emotional dependancy upon his parents becomes mutual. Especially after the Burka incident, seeing another family's problems caused Jack to value his own.
AM Holmes hints at the losing of innocence and the acknowledgment of the various feelings a child can have towards their parent. It starts with Jack and his experience with his father, but soon branches off into other characters such as Maggie. Maggie is basically going through the same thing as Jack, though her father's boyfriend is not as reserved as Bob. Both Maggie and Jack have unconditional love for their parents, though. Then there is Max, who expresses hatred for his father after Mr. Burka beats Mrs. Burka. It shows relationships between all families are not the same. At the end of the book, when Jack goes out to play basketball, he feels wiser about family relationships. He also acknowledges his independence from his parents. I think the basketball scene at the end really symoblises Jack's change in personality.
I think that Jack's relationship with his parents changes A lot in the novel. After Jack's dad came out to him, Jack "hated" his father and wished had a family more like the Burka's. After Mr. Burk hit his wife, I think he began to realize that their family isn't perfect, and he started to love his family more.
In the very beginning of the book, his parents fought a lot, and seemed like they had a grudge against each other, which tore apart the family and it messed with Jack's mood. In the middle of the book, Jack's parents were just beginning to get a long again, but there was still a comment hear and there. Like when Jack's mom was telling Jack's dad that Jack's broken/sprained leg was fine and she could handle it. At the end of the book, at Jack's party. His parents seemed like they were friends and weren't fighting because I think they realized that they shouldn't be fighting and that it was affecting Jack.
I think that the author demonstrates in this book, that the stereotypical perfect family, is a myth, however there is still such thing as a perfect family. I think that when Jack's parents aren't fighting, and as long as both parents love Jack. Their family is perfect. Also the book shows that how you're parents are acting can really effect the children of the family.
Through out the book, Jack has had a lot of problems with his parents, his father leaving them, the father being gay, the mother dating other men, and most importantly him being with his father has decreased a lot. But through out the book, Jack has spent more time with boh his mom and his dad and has become so much closer to them than he ever was before.
This also connects to the real world a little bit. When you think about it, you could replace the characters with any person. For example, A 9 year old boy could replace Jack and regular parents could replace Jack's parents. Then if you rethink over the story, the 9 year old boy could have had his parents get divorced and then have his dad mary another woman instead of Jack's dad marring a man. It doesn't make much of a difference. And then his connection grows with everyone, his mom, his dad, and his dad's boyfriend but with the 9 year old boy, it would be his dad's wife.
It doesn't make a difference who you are. This applies to anyone.
As we overview the change in the relationship between Jack and his parents, we see multiple changes of significance. Considering that Jack's view on life changes gradually over the course of the novel, we see that Jack starts the novel with a very strange feeling around his father, as if he is reluctant to start a productive relationship with his own father. We learned as we read further into the book that this is because Jack's mother has a very bid influence on him and Jack's mom is not a very big fan of Paul (his father).
When Paul comes out of the closer, Jack wants nothing to do with him. We see that he gets slightly closer to his mother but more specifically toward his friends Maggie and Max, because he feels that these are the people that he can trust.
In the middle of the story, Jack starts to let his father interact with him slightly more than he did before. He meets Bob (Paul's boyfrined) and does not seem to interact with him well. At a basketball game, he hurts himself on the court, and his father rushes to his aid. Whild reading this part in the book, I consistantly asked my, "Is Jack embarrassed because his father is rushing to his aid and he wants to be independent, or is he embarrassed because a large number of the student body in the school know about his father's homosexuality.?" Never the less, we still see Jack quite embarrassed of his father, meaning that the relationship has not been fully developed.
By the ending section of the book, we see that Jack is starting to grow up and except the fact that his father is homosexual, because he is starting to except life as a whole. We see that he still keeps a sufficiently close relationship with his mother as always. By the last 15-20 pages of the book, he opens up significantly to his father.
I believe that the author (Homes) is trying to make a connection that as you get older, you start to drift away from your parents, but you soon realize that you need them to get through life.
Very sorry for the late reply, did not check my e-mail until today.
Jack's relationship with his parents went through a whole long journey throughout the book. In the very beginning, all was well. Jack's dad and mom were totally satisfied with each others presence. Jack hails his dad as superman, his lifeguard, and someone who cares for him the most.
Strangely, Jack notices how his parents' relationship is deteriorating, turning the house into a pretty much unhappy place to be. This was a time of confusion for Jack, where arguments erupt between his parents everyday. His relationship with his dad is still going well, though he might have doubts about his dad's responsibility and reason for leaving so abruptly.He realizes that for whatever reason his dad left, he was trying to make up that lost time with Jack in those days he was allowed to. At some point, Jack said something like, "as if an an expensive slice of dead cow was going to make him feel that his dad cared for him."
The turning point in his story was when his dad told him that he was gay. From that moment, he believed that he was not the superman he was anymore. He thought that he was the embarrassment of his life, a burden that he has to shake off. "Before it was on a island, a river away, but now its on my shoulder." He now saw the world with a visor, as if everything that a gay person did was strange and queer.
His dad continues to do countless favors for Jack (including introducing him to Maggie) and still is the nicest person he can be. Jack only found out, through observation, that his dad was not at all different than the person he used to be. He still valued his family. Jack then comes to accept his dad, and finds out that he is almost too lucky to have a father who actually cared for him so much. In the end, Jack had a new beginning at turning sixteen. His parents were able to accept each other again, and they are reunited as a family.
The bigger idea is that kids usually see the smaller picture and wants everything to be perfect, or at least not hurt his own reputation in any way. As long as it does, be it that they don't or do like it in the past, they would despise it. They are very affected by what the public says, but when they see the truth they would reverse their hostility. Just like in TO Kill a Mockingbird, the kids believed Boo as a prowling monster, but after what he did and the truth of his nature, they paid him utmost respect.
I think Jack has grown as a young man, immensely throughout this novel. He has really matured into a young man. He transformed from this adolescent, childish boy into a mature young man. Jack has gone through so many events in his life that has transformed him. I think if his dad wasn't gay or hadn't told him he was gay, then Jack would be the same.
The relationship Jack had with his father was a 'normal' one in the beginning . They both loved each other and especially loved playing basketball with one another. When Jack's dad had told Jack he was gay, Jack first felt as though this was a nightmare and wasn't true. Jack felt the urge to pretend like this wasn't happening. As the book went on, Jack had to face the reality of it all and realize, that his dad was gay. I think the reason why Jack was afraid of telling himself that his dad was gay was because he was afraid of what his friends would think. He was afraid his friends would make fun of him and laugh at him. He wanted to be looked as a person in the “in” crowd.
I believe Jack goes by the notion ‘growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional.’ Throughout the book there are parts where you can see Jack ‘shielding’ himself from the reality of it all; Such as the struggle to process the fact that his father is gay.
36 comments:
I think that the relationship with his parents has changed a lot. I think that after Jacks father left Jacks parents were split up and him and his parents didn't have the best relationship. I think that his relationship changed because at the beginning of the book the things going on made it hard for Jack and his parents to really communicate and have a real connection. I think that the author brought p this aspect of maturity and family change because it really makes you question ones life and their aspects on life.I think that the idea of the author was to make people want to think about the story line a little bit more than they would usually think about it that way. I think that the whole point of this book is to make people think beyond their imagination and their thoughts
In the beginning of the book Jack's parents were together. Nothing bad seemed to be happening, they seemed to be happy family. Then one day Jack's father left. He didn't know why, he just left. Then when Jack was 14 he was finally told why his father left. That his father was gay. Almost everyday Jack's father would come and stand in their front yard and Jack's mother would yell at him every single time. However at that time Jack didn't know what was going on.
When Jack found out his father was gay he didn't want any thing to do with him. He didn't want him to be his father. He hated what he was. His mother was very sensitive about this subject. When Jack was using Ann as a girlfriend his mother was saying it's not right to be used. "Believe me I know!" that is what she said then she ran to her room. Later in the book Jack's mother tried to make Jack hang out with his dad. However Jack's mom still didn't like the fact about her husband.
When Jack had broken his ankle Jack's parents had tried to take care of Jack. Both parents were trying to take control. Were trying to help Jack. To give ideas on what they could do. They both cared about Jack and both wanted to help.
Jack came back from his trip when Mrs. Burka had gotten hit by Mr. Burka. Jack and his mother and father were in the Burka's kitchen. Jack thought to himself that it looked like them as a family before his dad left. When Jack's dad was leaving the Burka's he and his wife hugged. He said let's talk, she said soon. It seemed like they really wanted something to work now. Both Jack's parents said (or implied) that they still loved one another. However they couldn't tell eachother that because it would get everyone confused.
Then, finally, at Jack's party it seemed like his parents were friends. Jack's dad complimented the house and the food and his mom was able to make conversation. They had grown closer ovre the years almost the same way JAck has grown up. When you grow up you become more mature and when you become more mature you are able to understand things more and more.Jack and his parents grew up together with the same issues everyone was facing. They made it and the had accepted everyone for who they were.
Jack struggles with the idea of independence with his parents. Although he does want to seem more grown up, and he dreams of being free to do what he wants, he also seems to depend on his parents quite a lot. His father, to him, is the hero in many instances in the novel. Paul goes to jack when he breaks his leg, and he takes him to buy pizza when the Burka-incident occurs. Even though Jack's mother seems to be rough, she has been a person who takes care of him through hard moments, such as his parents divorce. By the end of the book, Jack realizes that he needs to find the balance between his parents saving the day, and him being his own hero.
AM Holmes seems to portray relationships between parents and kids as one that is all about balance: Jack does not nessecarily know when he needs his parents, or when he wants to be independent. His frustration with with adults tends to be connected to growing up, and how he can feel that he is also an adult. The meaning of growing up tends to shift in the novel multiple times: at some moments, Jack feels that he needs to be independent from his parents to grow up, but in other instances, he feels that to be completely grown up, he has to have a better relationship with his father, or understand his mother. Ultimately, growing up is seen as the ability to make choices: Jacks relationships with his parents is not the steadiest, but he does realize that he can "drive the car" and take control. He has the choice to make the relationship good.
over the course of the book Jack has grown up. not just with himself but also his parents. the way i see the book Jack was a child and he could not handle big issues. he went out of control when his dad told him on the boat that he was gay. toward the end of the book Jack learned how to control his issues. Jacks parents have also grown up in the book as well because at the beginning they could not stand each other. Jacks father was not even allowed inside Jacks house because his mother hated him so much. we understand that her heart was broken but she had to realize what her actions were doing to Jack. Jack felt the need to protect her and be mean and hate his father as well. it was not only because he disliked his father for leaving him but because he felt his mother had no protection and in a way was vulnerable. Jacks father is now not only allowed in the house but his parents are nice to each other. another thing is that you can see how at the beginning of the book Jacks parents only communicate with each other when it is an emergency and when Jack or a friend in need needed them. for example at Jacks basketball game Jacks parents were not sitting together but when jack hurt his foot they both rushed to see if he was ok. Another example is when Mrs Burka ( Jacks family friend) got badly beat up by her husband both of Jacks parents took care of her and her sons. Jack seems to be the bond between his two parents, he is the thing that keeps them together. towards the end of the book Jacks mom learned to accept Jacks dad and become nicer to him. she even invited him and his boyfriend over for Jacks birthday dinner. Jacks mom wanted to impress Jacks dad and show that things are running smoothly so she ran all over the house cleaning and cooking all day. a lot of times growing up as a teen you do not feel as close to your parents as you have previously. you do not share everything little thing going on in your life. it was the other way around with Jack and his parents. at the beginning of the book Jack seems happy with his life and worry free. then we find out that Jack has gay father and that turns everything around. Jack discovering that he has a gay father stirs up all kind of anger and confusion and emotion that he keeps all bottled up but we know he wanted someone to tell.towards the end of the book Jack realizes that he has only seen part of his dad. the gay side. Jack hasn't seen the basketball side or the gardening side.Jack has only paid attention to the cons in his mind and not the pros. at the end of the book when Jack is playing basketball with his father it seems that he is letting everything out. when he talks about how his shirt was all sweaty i think that symbolized all of his emotions that becomes trapped inside of him. when he lays down next to his father that symbolizes that he is airing out and letting everything out even though he is not verbally talking to his father. Jack has a connection with his father that is very special.
Jacks relationship with his parents is a big change in the book. In the beggining of the book Jack had a good relationship with his parents, in the middle of the novel his parents didn't understand him at all, in the end of the book Jack has a pretty good but weird relationship with his parents.
The author is trying to show that parents don't understand kids. She talks about how when your a teenager your parents still think of you as a kid, which teensgers don't necessarily like it. The parents might aks if your ok when you get a little scratch playing basketball. She is trying to show that recovering from a mistake of parenting is hard
Jack's Relationship with his parents in the beginning of the book when Jack's father still lived in his house was very normal and happy. The family would do normal family things like argue sometimes, go to the movies together, and go out to restaurants together.
They would do all of this normal family stuff until Jack's father moved out of the house. when Jack's father moved out of the house Jack's mother became furious at Jack's father and Jack's relationship with his father resulted from his mother's feeling of what Jack's father did. Jack was not able to make much communication with his father but that did not comprise the reason Jack was angry at his father. Jack was angry at his father because his father was like superman to Jack and if superman died people would be very upset. Jack was also upset because Jack's father left without even telling Jack what the heck was going on.
Jack was very upset with his parents when his father left with no explanation, but he wasn't as upset as when his father told him that he was gay. Jack had wondered ever since his father had left why he left, but when Jack's father said that he was gay, Jack's opinion of his father changed and he hated his father for a long time. While Jack was hating his father for what he had been told, he wasn't angry at his mother, as a matter of fact,he had pity on his mother. Jack had pity on his mother because he thought that it was unfair of his father to have Jack's mother have Jack come out of her and then leave her to raise him, and now Jack's father is leaving Jack's mother with a depressed kid.
In the end of the novel, Jack's mother and father start being nice to each other, which influences Jack to have a good relationship with both of them.
Through out the book, Jack has become closer to his father. After he told Jack he was gay, Jack's love for his father has grew so much. He has tried to avoid his father but his mom keeps convincing him to be with his father even though paul left them. I think that his relationship with his mom has grown a lot as well.
Hi everyone and Tom. Its Stef
In the novel Jack, Jack has a mom, who is straight, and a dad, who is gay. When Jack finds out that his dad is gay, he hates him, and completely abandons him. As the book goes on, he is less and less reluctant to spend time with his dad, though his dad is usually the one who invites Jack to hang out with him. Before the scene in the book where Max's father hits his mother, Jack thinks that his dad is weird. When he goes to his dads house, he gets mad at him, and hopes that his dad will turn out to not be gay. After Max's father hits his mother, Jack becomes much closer to his dad, in fact he even plays basketball with him. I think that this is because Jack thought that his family was ab-normal. He would always look to the Max's family, the Burkas, and wish he was part of their family, because he thought their family was normal. Whenever he is worried about not having a family, he looks at the Burka's and feels a little better. When Mr.Burka hits Mrs.Burka, Jack feels like he has just lost all faith that a family can be perfect. He has to rely on his dad, and once he sees that no family is perfect, he feels better about his dad.
Stef
When Jack's relationship with his parents is first introduced, it's easy to see that Jack has an easy relationship with his mom, and a special connection with his dad. When Jack's father tells him he's gay, Jack's special interpretation of his soon subsides, and he then begins to dislike his father for "betraying" him. Following Michael's entrance into their family, he seems to miss his father, and decides that he would rather have his gay father living with him instead of Michael, since he doesn't really belong in their family. Towards the end of the book, when Michael comes home, Jack says back to him, "No, Michael, you're not home, you're just an aura, an aura with a key." When I read this, it made me think that Jack didn't "see him" as someone living in his life. In the middle, Jack begins to grow his relationship again with his dad again, such as calling him when he needs to be picked up from Max's house. He also spends a little more time with his dad, despite having to face him with half-negative feelings. He feels bad about treating his father the way he did before, but can't admit that. Towards the end, he doesn't completely like Michael, but he begins to see a new light in his father, and begins to accept his father's sexuality and realizes that that is not what his father is all about and to stop picking on him about his sexuality and know that his father still loves him. Jack then has the same relationship with his father than he did in the beginning of the book, creating a happy ending for them and the reader.
A.M. Homes is explaining relationships in the novel as a roller coaster, with ups and downs, twists and turns, sometimes stays neutral, but no matter what, everyone has their own experience. Some people are okay with their parent's ways, while some will dislike it. The relationship between a child and a parent can varies for each person. With growing up, there are so many possibilities that could happen in it. Jack's special relationship with his parents, mainly his father, is one with many twists and turns, and Jack had his own experience, which is described in Jack.
By Cara
In the beginning of the book, Jack couldn't really trust any of his parents because they held a secret from him for a long time and didn't think that he could trust them anymore. Now that he has gotten older, he has learned to understand that when you get older, you get into harder situations but you have to get through them. Jack had difficulty connecting with his mom because she was always out on a dates and sort of neglected him. When Jack's dad told Jack that he was gay, he didn't want anything to do with his dad because he didn't really understand what gay meant. Jack thought it meant something bad. Also, both the mom and dad are putting in an effort to try to be friends instead of ignoring each other.
The author is showing how children and their parents are always going through tough times but there is a way to deal with them. Having your parents split up is a difficult situation to deal with and in the book 'Jack,' it shows how a kid could deal with it. It also shows how sometimes Jack feels like he needs his parents and sometimes he doesn't. But at the end of the day, he realizes that he can't always be independent. Every child thinks that they could be independent.
- Brianna <3
In the beginning of the book Jack was really close with his parents. But when his father left him and his mother, Jack had a different point of view on him than before. Jack always looked up to his dad as a role model, but when his dad left he did not really want to spend time with him. later on when jack finds out his dad is gay he is sickened by the thought of his dad being gay, and just wants to to get away from his father. Jack starts to connect more and more with his mother over the course of the book because she is his next role model. I think that the author is trying to show that no matter what happens, your parents are always there for you, and will always love you. You can talk to your parents about anything because they have been a kid and know what it is like.
Isaiah
In the very beginning of the book, Jack describes himself as being very close with his parents. After the divorce he became disconnected with both his parents because they all seemed to be trying to figure out what happened to their family. When his dad comes out to him, he goes from ignoring his dad to hating him for being gay. He wants nothing to do with his dad, or any other gay people. By the end of the book though, Jack reached out to his dad and saw him as person for the first time since he came out. He really saw past his hatred and was able to really remember that no matter what, he still loved his dad. In the end Jack is close with both his parents and feels satisfied with his life.
Jack’s changing situation with his parents is similar to the stages kids through with their parents as they grow up. When you are very young, you are dependent on your parents to do almost everything and be like super heroes. When you are around ten or eleven, you want to be independent and do most things for yourself. When you are a young teenager, all you want is to have your own life and solve your own problems. When you are an older teenager though, you are able to see your parents as equals and not as people always telling you what to do. Jack goes through all this with his parents and by the end sees them as human beings, not super heroes. This is just one of many themes in the book centered around growing up, although I feel this is one of the more prominent.
Paul leaves Jack and his mother and then later Jack finds out that he is gay. It took Jack a while to deicide whether or not it mattered to him or not. Jack lives in a very homophobic community so jack does not like having a gay father. Jack’s parents are divorced and he does not want to see his father. When Jack was little Paul used to check everything to make sure Jack was safe. Now Jack is sixteen and his father does it. Partly it might be because he does not want jack to grow up. On Jack’s sixteenth birthday his father said, “You’re growing up,” as he walked out of the house.
Jack goes on a trip with his best friend Max Burka and his family. Mrs. Burka gets beaten by her husband. When they come back early both of Jack’s parents are there. When they leave Paul says to Jack’s mom let’s talk and she says soon then they hug. Jack could not remember the last time his parents were in the same house.
I think basketball symbolizes the bond between Paul and Jack. It is something they could do together and they both know how to play. I think that it is also a sport that runs in the family because jack’s mother plays to. After jack’s father left his mom practiced her basketball so that she could play with Jack just Paul did.
I think that at first…Jack just thought of his mother as his mother, and his dad as his dad. He never really noticed their character, their personalities or the relationship between them both. However, when we get closer to the middle of the book Jack’s father tells him he is gay. This is a real game changer for Jack. He doesn’t really know how he sees his parents anymore. It’s really hard for him to think of Paul being anything ells other then gay. That’s really all he is at this point in the story. As for his mother, he can’t really think of anything ells to label her other than the victim in this situation. Here, she is given the opportunity to make things better for Jack. To prove to him that she can take care of him and make sure he can have as normal a life as possible. She does not do this. Instead, she starts bringing men home, becomes a workaholic and is paying even less attention to Jack. As his mother, Jack relies on her to help him through his life even though he doesn’t admit this. She really is letting him down and showing him that he is really going to have to deal with this on his own. Towards the end of the story…we see Jack’s relationship with both parents become much better. He starts to pay more attention to their character and what kinds of people they are. He does no longer label them by taking one glance, but he starts to look at the whole picture and in doing this, helps Jack become an even better person. Understanding his parents has helped him understand himself.
I think that the author is trying to show that your parents are allot like you, and if you understand them, you understand yourself allot better. I also think that your parents are the ones that are supposed to support you and help you through your problems. Jack never really had this kind of relationship, but relied more on his friends for advice. As a madder of fact he didn’t even have the great friends! In the end, Jack had no choice but to learn more about himself. His friends weren’t going to do it, and his parents weren’t going to do it for him. Jack has realized that being independent is okay and that he is really allot smarter then he thought.
In the beginning of Jack, we are exposed to a family crisis, which involves the separation of a family. Confusion sweeps over Jack, since he once remembered that both of his parents got along very well. He is stuck in the middle of argument. Jack and his parents at this time got a long pretty well, even though the whole family was going through a lot.
One day, Jack's father tells him that he is gay, which was one of the reasons why there was so much tention between the family. During this time period, the majority of society struggled with homophobia, and greatly detests those who were considered "unique" in terms of sexuality. When a child is growing up, homophobia comes into the picture, creating a demeaning atmosphere at school because of the radical changes that kids were going through.
Jack's relationship with his father deteriorates dramatically. He wants nothing to do with his father. He is embarassed by the idea that he too, might get bullied in school because of his father being open about his sexuality. Jack basically isolates his father from his life.
During growing up, towards the end of the process, you start to understand the major differences in society. One being sexuality. Jack starts to understand his father, and starts to feel that he is just an ordinary man, just like the father he recently cared for deeply previously.
In the beginning of the book Jack has a very complicated relationship with his parents. At first they get divorced and Jack is upset that his parents can't be a "normal" happy family. Later in the book when Paul tells Jack that he is Homosexual, Jack's relationship with his dad gets rough, because Jack is not capable of accepting his dad's sexual orientation. And Jack's relationship with his mom becomes distant, because Jack keeps to himself and will not communicate with his mom. Towards the middle of the book Jacks relationship between his parents becomes more accepting on Jacks part. Jack realizes that his family is a complicated family, but Jack has a family with people who love him. At the end of the book Jack realizes that there is no such thing as a "normal/perfect" family, and this strengthens his relationship with his parents. In all I think that the author of states the fact that the relationship between children and parents is not a "bed of roses". But at the same time family is something that should not be taken for granted. I think the author also states that each family is unique and different in their own special way so there is no such thing as a "normal" family. And that was a mistake that Jack made, comparing other families to his, Jack didn't realize that he had a loving family right in front of him.
I think that the relationship between Jack and his parents has changed a lot through the course of the book. At first it seems as if Jack hates his life the way it is with his parents divorced, and finding out that his father is gay had made it even worse for him. Jack had put up with the whole struggle with having divorced parents, but still sort of kept his cool, and dealt with it any possible way that he could. But when his dad had came out to him, Jack had lost it and his guard had come tumbling down. I think that he felt like enough was enough. After a while of awkwardness in his family, things had settled when he got more comfortable with the fact that his father was gay. Jack could still recognize that awkwardness in his family, but it wasn't as bad as before. When Jack's leg had gotten hurt in the basket ball game, the the tension was so high that Jack had stayed with the pain for a longer amount of time just so that the awkwardness would leave. Jack had then become more okay with the idea of having a gay father, even with the fact that he was harassed at school. In the end, Jack is settled with his new families and doesn't expect life to be perfect.
I agree with Sophie when she had said that the author is trying to tell the readers that your parents are a lot like yourself, and if you don't only see the bad in them you won't have to be afraid of growing up like they had. The author is also trying to say that the relationship between the parents and their child (or children) could be very strong if they both understood each other fully, and understood each person's perspective on life. At first Jack doesn't understand this, but as we got deeper into the book, Jack had understood more about his relationship with his family and with life. Jack had understood how to get through the hard times in life without giving up, and having his family together really helped him understand.
Over the course of the book, Jack’s relationship with his parents changes significantly. His parents have a very complicated relationship with each other and their issues affect Jack as their child. As Jack matures, he grows into a greater understanding of his parents and his life.
In the beginning of the book (when we see the flashbacks), Jack is at peace with both his parents and he is growing up in a happy home. His relationship with is parents is a loving one, he idolizes his father, thinking of him as a “superman” and is taken good care of by his mother. However, as his happy family starts to deteriorate, he sinks deeper into confusion. Why is his father leaving? Why is his mother so unhappy? And slowly, Jacks mother starts becoming his real guardian. She picks up basketball; she tries to spend quality time with him. But after a while, even she draws away, as she goes on dates and starts leaving Jack money for McDonalds rather than eating with him. Also, his father tries desperately to hang out with Jack, finally convincing Jack’s mother to allow Jack to have dinner with him once a week. Jack finds these evening uncomfortable, despite his father’s attempts.
When Jack learns of his father’s sexuality he is beyond furious. His father has not been a “superman” in his life for a while and this seems to be the snapping point. Jack’s take on his father shifts importantly, he is so angry. His love for his father, though never truly abandoned, has been buried beneath a heap of hate, fear and homophobia. Jack is scared of his father and doesn’t see him for a long time.
As Jack starts to accept his father more, he enters a time of realization. In the scene where he plays basketball with his dad, he has an epiphany. He sees his father as a person for the first time, and his father’s sexuality doesn’t matter so more. After Mrs. Burka is beaten, Jack’s parents come to an understanding with each other. They still have feelings for each other and Jack realizes he loves both his parents equally, in spite of their divorce. His relationship with his parent’s represents maturity, as we see Jack grow into a young man, we see his understanding and love for his parents deepen. They are distant in some ways and close in others, but they are, most importantly, a family.
At the beginning of the book, Jack explained how with his dad gone from his household, it was like his super hero being missing and that his mom tried to fill the dad position. He thought his family was screwed up and only wished for a better one and a normal life. Normal being a family that stays together through anything-- a family much like what the Burkas seemed to be.
His relationship with his dad at the beginning was distant and akward and his relationship with his mom was trying hard to be better, but not really getting better. After his dad told Jack he is gay, Jacks anger towards his dad gets rid of all akwardness. Through Jacks anger, Jacks mom sees how silly she has been about Jacks dad and try's to push Jack to spend more time with his dad. After finding out that the Burkas "perfect family" was not so perfect after all, he realized that though his family may not be perfect, both his parents and other people in his life loved him. After being antagonized at school for having a gay dad, Jack gets defensive and starts to understand his dad more. With their strong connection in basketball you see how Jack never never stoped loving his dad, he was just shocked that his dad was gay.
What I think A. M. Homes is trying to say, is that all teens are going to seperate a little bit from their parents- especaily if you parent is gay or lesbian and you lived in a time period like jack does- but nobody stops loving each other. In the end you see how alike you really are to your parents.
Jack seems to have a different relationship with his parents at every stage in the book. In the beginning he loves his dad and feels as if he is not as close to his mom. After his father comes out the roles are switched and he's leaning on his mom for an explanation and trying to get as far away as possible from his dad. Jack slowly gets closer and closer to his dad in the middle of the book. WHen Jack returns from the farm. He is in shock, and begins to realize how lucky he is to have two loving parents. Finally at the end of the book he seems to come to the conclusion that he has great parents and is thankful for his family but he is independent. I think the message of the book in terms of child and parent relationships is that as children grow up they will come to love and accept their family but also realize that their family does not define them.
I think that Jack's relations with his parents changed over the course of the book. Jack's mother is a person who he found was there for him. However, his father always appeared, whether by coincidence or luck, at the most opportune moment. The change of relations really is emphasized with Jack and his father rather than his mother. He felt disgust for his father when they talked on Lake Watchmayoyo. This is a complete turnaround towards the end of the book when he buys the turquoise for his father. Although he did not give it to him, the thought counts. Jack and his father's relationship can be described as the Kool-Aid stain Jack's mother cleaned up. The Kool-Aid stain would never clear up no matter what the mother tried until she fought it head on.
Jack and his father tried to make up. The situations were just to awkward to make up. Eventually, they took a turn and signs of their friendship was returning. The night when they arrived from the Farm at the Burkas house, Jack made up with his father when going to the pizza store. That is the relations with his father
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His mother is different. She has always been the type who does not usually do things that require excessive energy. Such as making pancakes or cleaning stains. Jack and his mother are two similar people. They both were affected when the father left. They both were affected when they learned of the father's homosexuality. I feel that the mother and Jack really relate and that creates the basis for their good friendship.
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The concept of growing up is portrayed mainly with Jack, however, Max and Sammy can arguably be symbols of growing up.
1) Sammy symbolizes the innocent childhood. Sammy relates with the parents who keep him safe and he symbolizes gilded happiness. Why? The parents are probably keeping him out of the loop, with him oblivious, and keeping him safe while happy. The parents may or may not be happy. Gilded happiness is between Mrs. Burkas and Sammy because she obviously was not enjoying Mr. Burkas. This is one connection.
2) Max symbolizes a truce. Max's truce is explained like this: It is a deal of limiting independence while putting up with parents. An example would be his truce between Mr. Burkas and himself. This incites a ground everyone is irritated by but can put up with it.
3) Jack. Jack can symbolize many things. The biggest symbol, in my opinion, is that Jack is the want for freedom, while confused. 16 years old is a great time. You can drive, you can go places you haven't before and you want freedom. Jack is confused about everyone, however. This is something that can really be applicable to only Jack in the form it is in. The reason: Jack is exaggerating everything about his problems. The symbol here is that Jack symbolizes maturation. Their comes a point where the child finally treats the parents as equals. The only difference is the parents aren't ready to let go.
Jack view his parents and there roles in a different way in each part of the book. Jack relationship and view of his parents fluctuates quite a bit. When Jack was young, he thought his dad was a super hero and could always save the world. When Jacks dad leaves, he loses some of the idolization he has for his father. He becomes distant from his father and blames his father more, and he becomes close with his mom. When his father came out to him, jack lost all his feelings of idolization towards his father and he becomes very angry. Towards the middle of the book, he starts want freedom from his parents and wants to be independent from his parents. After Jack comes back from the farm, he realizes that he is lucky to have his family and although his family might be a bit out of the ordinary, they love him and are able to get along and take care of him. In the book the message about family is that no matter what you will always be loved and children will grow up but they will never totally leave you.
Jacks relationship with his parents goes through a distinct change throughout the book. At the beginning of the book, Jack has this kind of child-like relationship with his parents. The classic sad kid whose parents are divorced. Not that bad but not fantastic either. He loved his father so much and constantly tried to get him to come back, but Paul refused.
Then one day, Paul took jack on a boat ride where he announced he was gay and that's when the tables turned. Jack's father called and called, but Jack never answered, he didn't want anything to do with his father. Jack felt betrayed and disgusted all at once and it was a hard time for him and his father. Jack's mother seemed to be less opinionated (although if she ha to pick a side it would definitely be Jack's.)
About midway through the book Jack started to forgive his father without wanting to admit it to himself. He picked u the phone when Paul called, he agreed to hang out, he even met his boyfriend Bob. There was still apart of him where he didn't want to forgive his father. He thought maybe if he didn't accept this new Paul, it wouldn't be real, it would go away. Throughout this process I felt that Jack and his mother were growing apart bit by bit. They no longer had this mutual dislike for Paul, and she had become self obsessed lately.
By the end of the book, Jack and his father had become perfect friends again. They played basketball, did everything they used to,but there is still a slight awkwardness always hanging in the air between them. no matter the situation something is always a little bit off.
This is where the idea of growing up really appeared to me. growing up is a difficult process for every teen, especially under the circumstances that Jack is under. At first you want your family to perfect, parents together and they get along. Some people may have that, but as Jack said "The American Family had reached it's peak, and now its going downhill." The divorce rate has gone up in the past 30 years, and the rate of children born has gone down. The average family has about 2 kids these days, compared to before where 5-7 was most common.
The second stage of Jacks growing up is when he realizes this. He see's that the Perfect Family Idea doesn't exist anymore. He begins irritable with his parents as every teenager does at one point. He hates his father, he hates his mother for hating his father, and he hates everyone for not being in his situation.
The final stage is where he matures. He understands his father and accepts him. He appreciates his family more. As a teenager turns into an adult they really start to appreciate their parents again. Whether it is because they see their parents getting older and want to be there, or angry hormones start to wear off, it happens.
Over the course of "Jack" his relationships with his parents change a lot. As he grows up in this book, he has to deal with many adult situations. Through all of it, Jack's relationship with his dad goes through goods and bads. After his dad tells him that he is gay, Jack doesn't understand it and locks his dad out for a while. As a result by the end though, it seems to have made their relationship stronger. Since Jack finally could see his dad for his true self and accepted bob more, they were able to bond at a new length. But through all of those relationship problems adding onto the other drama that had occurred, Jack and his mom had become more distant by the end of the book. Through everything, Jacks love was needed by a lot more people. Maggie, Mrs. Burka, Bob, Max, and especially his dad since they were re-building a big father and son bond. There seemed to not have been as much left for his mom.
I think that overall, growing up in "Jack" and in general means that as you get older, you're going to have to go through harder and more serious situations. Through it all there is not going to be as much time for parents. As the child becomes more open to the larger world, the parents won't seem like a huge beacon of light as they used to. Jack used to depend more on his mom because she was always there. As he became more independent by driving and having a girlfriend, he started to notice that he was doing fine without her there as much.
The most significant change in Jack’s relationship with his parents is that Jack no longer upholds the notion that his parents are absolute paradigms. Jack now realizes that while his parents are flawed they truly care about him. Because Jack understands this concept of imperfection coexisting with human nature Jack is finally able to overcome any lingering homophobic sentiment he retains inside of himself and empathizes with his father. Throughout the book Jack yearns for the simplicity of his childhood. This is because he believes that the course of his life was normal up to the point when Jack’s father reveals to Jack that he is a homosexual, after which Jack’s life becomes filled with uncertainty and stress. Jack then makes the mistake to directly associate his father’s confession as the cause of his troubles and shuns him for willingly inducing the turmoil he is enveloped by. However, now that Jack has gained new perspicacity, he realizes that the separation of his familial sphere was inevitable. Also, even though Jack’s father has moved away, he still is the same person and he regrets having to put Jack in such an awkward position at such a young age. Since Jack has reconciled this internal struggle to understand why his father left him, he leads a much more tranquil life and no longer feels ashamed that his father is gay.
The issue of the relationship of Jack to his parents is at the center of what the novel is about. At the beginning of the book, Jack and his parents are just like any other typical family. But we are given indications that not all is well. The relationship between Jack’s parents was in trouble. We got a sense that Jack’s vision of his father is that of an ideal. He saw him as a perfect role-model, but in reality, he is remote. Then Jack learns that his father is gay. Jack is a teenager, and his reaction to this fact is a typical one. He expects that his whole world will fall to pieces. But the whole story line of this book is about how this is not true.
I agree with Louisa that his relationship is changing throughout the book. He had an average family to start with. When he finds out that his father is gay, much agony is initiated. Eventually, this fact gradually becomes meaningless after experience with society, the reaction of society, and seeing what other families are like. He thinks that he is the only one in the world with a turbulent family in the beginning, but eventually, after seeing his father’s love withstand other love that he sees such as the case with Maggie’s father, and when he goes to the farm and sees Mr. and Mrs. Burka’s relationship. He realizes that he has a family just like any other if not better, even considering the fact that his father is gay.
In the end Jack learns that his family is always there to support him and that he has himself and his own experience to keep with him.
As Jack is living with his mother and father while he is younger, he is less independent and relies on them more. Age is a big factor in how the relationship between Jack and his parents change. As it usually happens this way, as one gets older they feel the need to be independent and don't depend on their parents as much as they would as a small child. Jack starts out feeling this way but then towards the end realizes that he can be independent while still close with his parents.
Another idea that this connects to is forgiveness and maturity. As Jack gets older, he becomes more mature and self sustainable in some ways, yet the level of maturity he has reached, does not completely show until he has accepted who is father really is. To be a sophisticated person, you don't only need to physically grow up, but mentally grow up also. I feel that Jack is full grown when he is willing to accept who is father is and when he realizes that independence is not about isolating yourself, but being independent in the choices you make- whether they regard when he needs his parents and when he is able to be on his own.
Jack needs his parents often in the story whether it is for emotional help like getting through the divorce, or physical help like walking Jack when he broke or sprained his ankle. At the end, he realizes that it is not a bad thing to count on people at times, but it also isn't bad to be alone.
Throughout the book, Jack's relationship with his parents improves. In the begining of the novel, Jack and his parents seem to be fine and happy. After Paul comes out, it causes tension throughout the family. Jack's relationship with his mom and dad worsens. Jackis always mad and agrressive and it is hard to interactwith someone who is always angry. Towards the end of the book Jack realizes that he still loves his dad and that he can trust and rely on him. After Jack gets to a good place with his parents, he drifts away from them. He is always thinking about his existence and odd things like that. He becomes his own best friend,his own parent, his own child. He drifts away almost unconsiously. He doesn't mean to leave his parents or his friends on purpose, but he just becomes so curious about everything and keeps to himself.
I think a recurruring theme in the book is that adults/parents can make mistakes just lie children. Or that adults are not perfect. Mr. Burka puched his wife. When you are a child you learn that hitting is wrong. Paul leaving wasn't really a mistake, but it caused a lot of turbulence. If he could have read the future a few years back, he wouldn't have gotten involved with Jack's mom or Jack, but he is not perfect or a psychic. Things happen that adults cannot control because adultsare human.
-Kai Marcel
In the beginning of the novel after Jack’s parents had a divorce Jack felt that his parents were strangers in many senses. He begins to notice that the day his father left. “They stood there, staring at each other, swelling up the whole room. I remember the sudden strange sensation that these were not my parents, these were not the same people I’d known last week.” (Pg 8) After his father left, Jack felt like his mother replace his father. She started to play basketball as well as participating in other “fatherly” activities including getting a job. His father to Jack he is gay one day, the reason for the divorce. Jack has to rediscover his parents and find his place in each of their new lives. When Jack’s father told him he is gay, at first Jack found this gross and upsetting. One of the reasons that this was upsetting to Jack was that he believes he is a product of a lie. Jack felt that the only reason his birth occurred was because his father wanted to hide his identity. Jack discovered however, that his father still loved him and his mom.
In the book Jack had to rediscover his parents and accept them for how there lives have changed. In a short amount of time Jack has to undergo many changes. As well as the information that his father is gay he also finds out on a trip with his best friend Max that Max’s father His wife. This upsets Jack because the Burkas have always seemed like the perfect family to him. Whenever Jack is lonely and resentful of his family, he belongs to he goes to the Burkas for dinner. The Burkas allow Jack to feel “normal.” This image though is shattered when he finds out that Mr. Burka beats Mrs. Burka. Jack is even more upset when he finds out that they are getting a divorce just like his parents. This event however changed Jack’s view of his father. Jack’s father left because he was unhappy. He wasn’t being himself. Jack sees why his father was responsible to leave; he didn’t want to beat Jack’s mother like Mr. Burka did to Mrs. Burka.
Near the end of the book the past events flash before Jack’s eyes. The Burka’s, (besides Mr. Burka) Maggie Jack’s girl friend, his father, his father’s lover, his mom and his mom’s boyfriend Michael celebrate Jack’s birthday. When all of these people meet, it’s as if all the events are coming together showing Jack how much he and his life have changed. Dinner times which is the last meal of the day is confirming that everything is returning back to peace. Yet Jack wonders at the end of the book, will his life be like theirs?
A.M. Homes is trying to show how children struggle to avoid the trodden path of their families. In the end Jack fears his life might be like the people who sit at the dinner table before him at his party. Then he realizes that it’s just him; Jack in the basketball court, playing against himself. He builds the obstacles he needs to get over. He learns that as long as he doesn’t build those obstacles and he is honest with himself he can do anything.
I agree with Kira, Jack struggles very much with the idea of independence from his parents. In the beginning of the book, Jack's closeness with his father was frequently referenced. He mentally noted details about his father and how he had changed and portrayed his mother negatively. He mused upon the events of his parents break-up and his cluelessness. Soon his father becomes the bad guy, after admitting to Jack he's gay, and Jack relies on his mother and Micheal for support. His mother is aware of his feelings and knows what he's going through, so they share their pain. It fluctuates from there until mid-book, I think after the basketball game where everyone gathered around Jack. Where Jack realizes he is very much cared about, though he is distraught by it. Then the emotional dependancy upon his parents becomes mutual. Especially after the Burka incident, seeing another family's problems caused Jack to value his own.
AM Holmes hints at the losing of innocence and the acknowledgment of the various feelings a child can have towards their parent. It starts with Jack and his experience with his father, but soon branches off into other characters such as Maggie. Maggie is basically going through the same thing as Jack, though her father's boyfriend is not as reserved as Bob. Both Maggie and Jack have unconditional love for their parents, though. Then there is Max, who expresses hatred for his father after Mr. Burka beats Mrs. Burka. It shows relationships between all families are not the same. At the end of the book, when Jack goes out to play basketball, he feels wiser about family relationships. He also acknowledges his independence from his parents. I think the basketball scene at the end really symoblises Jack's change in personality.
I think that Jack's relationship with his parents changes A lot in the novel. After Jack's dad came out to him, Jack "hated" his father and wished had a family more like the Burka's. After Mr. Burk hit his wife, I think he began to realize that their family isn't perfect, and he started to love his family more.
In the very beginning of the book, his parents fought a lot, and seemed like they had a grudge against each other, which tore apart the family and it messed with Jack's mood.
In the middle of the book, Jack's parents were just beginning to get a long again, but there was still a comment hear and there. Like when Jack's mom was telling Jack's dad that Jack's broken/sprained leg was fine and she could handle it.
At the end of the book, at Jack's party. His parents seemed like they were friends and weren't fighting because I think they realized that they shouldn't be fighting and that it was affecting Jack.
I think that the author demonstrates in this book, that the stereotypical perfect family, is a myth, however there is still such thing as a perfect family. I think that when Jack's parents aren't fighting, and as long as both parents love Jack. Their family is perfect.
Also the book shows that how you're parents are acting can really effect the children of the family.
Through out the book, Jack has had a lot of problems with his parents, his father leaving them, the father being gay, the mother dating other men, and most importantly him being with his father has decreased a lot. But through out the book, Jack has spent more time with boh his mom and his dad and has become so much closer to them than he ever was before.
This also connects to the real world a little bit. When you think about it, you could replace the characters with any person. For example, A 9 year old boy could replace Jack and regular parents could replace Jack's parents. Then if you rethink over the story, the 9 year old boy could have had his parents get divorced and then have his dad mary another woman instead of Jack's dad marring a man. It doesn't make much of a difference. And then his connection grows with everyone, his mom, his dad, and his dad's boyfriend but with the 9 year old boy, it would be his dad's wife.
It doesn't make a difference who you are. This applies to anyone.
As we overview the change in the relationship between Jack and his parents, we see multiple changes of significance. Considering that Jack's view on life changes gradually over the course of the novel, we see that Jack starts the novel with a very strange feeling around his father, as if he is reluctant to start a productive relationship with his own father. We learned as we read further into the book that this is because Jack's mother has a very bid influence on him and Jack's mom is not a very big fan of Paul (his father).
When Paul comes out of the closer, Jack wants nothing to do with him. We see that he gets slightly closer to his mother but more specifically toward his friends Maggie and Max, because he feels that these are the people that he can trust.
In the middle of the story, Jack starts to let his father interact with him slightly more than he did before. He meets Bob (Paul's boyfrined) and does not seem to interact with him well. At a basketball game, he hurts himself on the court, and his father rushes to his aid. Whild reading this part in the book, I consistantly asked my, "Is Jack embarrassed because his father is rushing to his aid and he wants to be independent, or is he embarrassed because a large number of the student body in the school know about his father's homosexuality.?" Never the less, we still see Jack quite embarrassed of his father, meaning that the relationship has not been fully developed.
By the ending section of the book, we see that Jack is starting to grow up and except the fact that his father is homosexual, because he is starting to except life as a whole. We see that he still keeps a sufficiently close relationship with his mother as always. By the last 15-20 pages of the book, he opens up significantly to his father.
I believe that the author (Homes) is trying to make a connection that as you get older, you start to drift away from your parents, but you soon realize that you need them to get through life.
Very sorry for the late reply, did not check my e-mail until today.
Jack's relationship with his parents went through a whole long journey throughout the book. In the very beginning, all was well. Jack's dad and mom were totally satisfied with each others presence. Jack hails his dad as superman, his lifeguard, and someone who cares for him the most.
Strangely, Jack notices how his parents' relationship is deteriorating, turning the house into a pretty much unhappy place to be. This was a time of confusion for Jack, where arguments erupt between his parents everyday. His relationship with his dad is still going well, though he might have doubts about his dad's responsibility and reason for leaving so abruptly.He realizes that for whatever reason his dad left, he was trying to make up that lost time with Jack in those days he was allowed to. At some point, Jack said something like, "as if an an expensive slice of dead cow was going to make him feel that his dad cared for him."
The turning point in his story was when his dad told him that he was gay. From that moment, he believed that he was not the superman he was anymore. He thought that he was the embarrassment of his life, a burden that he has to shake off. "Before it was on a island, a river away, but now its on my shoulder." He now saw the world with a visor, as if everything that a gay person did was strange and queer.
His dad continues to do countless favors for Jack (including introducing him to Maggie) and still is the nicest person he can be. Jack only found out, through observation, that his dad was not at all different than the person he used to be. He still valued his family. Jack then comes to accept his dad, and finds out that he is almost too lucky to have a father who actually cared for him so much. In the end, Jack had a new beginning at turning sixteen. His parents were able to accept each other again, and they are reunited as a family.
The bigger idea is that kids usually see the smaller picture and wants everything to be perfect, or at least not hurt his own reputation in any way. As long as it does, be it that they don't or do like it in the past, they would despise it. They are very affected by what the public says, but when they see the truth they would reverse their hostility. Just like in TO Kill a Mockingbird, the kids believed Boo as a prowling monster, but after what he did and the truth of his nature, they paid him utmost respect.
I think Jack has grown as a young man, immensely throughout this novel. He has really matured into a young man. He transformed from this adolescent, childish boy into a mature young man. Jack has gone through so many events in his life that has transformed him. I think if his dad wasn't gay or hadn't told him he was gay, then Jack would be the same.
The relationship Jack had with his father was a 'normal' one in the beginning . They both loved each other and especially loved playing basketball with one another. When Jack's dad had told Jack he was gay, Jack first felt as though this was a nightmare and wasn't true. Jack felt the urge to pretend like this wasn't happening. As the book went on, Jack had to face the reality of it all and realize, that his dad was gay. I think the reason why Jack was afraid of telling himself that his dad was gay was because he was afraid of what his friends would think. He was afraid his friends would make fun of him and laugh at him. He wanted to be looked as a person in the “in” crowd.
I believe Jack goes by the notion ‘growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional.’ Throughout the book there are parts where you can see Jack ‘shielding’ himself from the reality of it all; Such as the struggle to process the fact that his father is gay.
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