Outsiders Essay: Revision Tips

The following is a list general points to focus on as you revise your first formal essay:

1. In your introduction, please include the names of each outsider and a sentence or two with background information about him/her/them. Also, please include the source information, if that applies (book title, song name, etc).
2. Avoid language that is too conversational or vague. Words like “stuff” and “things” are rarely as effective as a more specific word.
3. Essays like this one are meant to be objective. This means you are using evidence and analysis rather than personal feelings or opinion to support your argument. Since it is objective, avoid the personal pronouns “you” and especially “I”, “me”, and “myself.” You may use “we” sparingly in your conclusion if absolutely necessary.
4. Use direct language. “It is fair to say that Maycomb is a segregated town,” is less strong than, “Maycomb is a segregated town.” Also, phrases like “it seems to be” and “maybe” weaken your argument.
5. Use the following steps in including quotes:
a. Introduce the quote, or explain where in the book it took place.
b. Present the quoted material, followed by the page number
c. Follow the quote with some sort of explanation and analysis.

Example:

In the book’s opening chapter, Harper Lee explains how the Radley family doesn’t seem to fit in. She writes that “the shutters and doors of the Radley place were closed on Sundays, another thing alien to Maycomb’s ways: closed doors meant illness and cold weather only” (Lee 9). The Radleys do not follow the town’s unwritten rules, rules that are deeply engrained in this community. Because they keep to themselves, they become outcasts in the eyes of the Maycomb’s white community.